Welcome! If your child has just told you that they think there's a difference between their physical gender, and the one they truly feel themself to be, then you have come to the right place. Most people simply aren't prepared with the information they need to effectively deal with this, and our hope is to point you to where you will find the resources you need to help your family, and your transgender child, on their journey. If you're confused and feel alone, don't worry, that's common. And please remember, that's probably how your child feels, as well. It can take a lot of courage for them to not only acknowledge this fact about themselves, but to then reveal it to you. They have most likely given this a lot of thought, because understanding this difference is not something that's arrived at easily. And they probably had to go through a lot of self-analysis to determine that this indeed was what is wrong with them: that their physical manifestation of gender -- from their body hair to their genitals to their voice to the very gender roles they have assumed in society -- don't match up with what they know, deep inside their head, their true gender to be. This can all be quite confusing for everyone, of course. And as you try to understand it, it's also important to remember that there is a difference between gender and sexual orientation. Transgender or intersexed people are not gay, lesbian or bisexual simply because they perceive they have a gender disparity. Those attributes are two very different things. Some trangender youth who feel they are a boy born in a girl's body are attracted to boys and will ultimately identify as heterosexual girls. But it could just as easily be that a person who is biologically identified as a girl, but knows she is a boy, might be attracted to other boys and ultimately identify as a gay male. There are many possibilities, and the important thing to realize, and truly believe, is that they are all equally valid. You're likely to have a lot of questions about what it means to be transgender, and we have provided an FAQ to help you get the answers you need. Many parents also find it hard to believe that their teenager can really know that there is a mismatch between their physical and true genders. But interviews with adult transgender individuals, a growing body of scholarly research, and the growing number of transgender youth who are courageously telling the story of their own lives, all support the fact that someone as young as 13 or 14 may indeed be aware of their personal gender discrepancy. You can read some of their stories in our coming-out archives A wonderful story in which you may find comfort, and perhaps even guidance, was written by Just Evelyn, the mother of a 15 year-old son who realized he was born in a body with the wrong gender. It's called Mom, I Need to be a Girl and is available online (with the gracious permission of Just Evelyn). You can download the PDF version (203KB). Parents' responses to this news from their children ranges all over the spectrum. But most, it's fair to say, are rather surprised and at a loss what to do next. Please understand that that is fine. The fact is, most of us are wholly unprepared about how to deal with this news, what steps to take. The important thing is to remember that this is the same child you have loved all their life, and now you know something new and very important about them. By coming here, you've taken a very big step, and that's to learn more, and to find a way to help your child on their journey to becoming the person they really are, or are meant to be. Moving forward is often something that's hard to do alone, though. And that's why it's important to get yourself the support you'll need to ensure that you can help your child in the best manner. There is a wonderful organization called PFLAG -- Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays -- that we recommend you turn to. They have a special group, in fact, devoted just to helping families with transgender children: PFLAG T-NET. You can reach them at their home on the Web. PFLAG T-NET has also published an excellent brochure designed especially for the parent, that provides perspectives and practical advice, which you can either read online or download as a PDF version (60KB). We invite you to explore all of the resources we have available through TransProud, and also the links to many other organizations specializing in the needs and interests of transgender people on the Web. We hope that you find the answers you're looking for, the support you need, and that you will all one day be able to celebrate the rebirth of your transgender family member as the person they were meant to be.

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