Frequently Asked Questions Mom, I Need to be a Girl This wonderful online book (203KB, in PDF format) was written by Just Evelyn, the mother of a 15 year-old son who realized that he was really a girl inside. It follows their family's journey as Daniel becomes Danielle, and may answer many questions you don't even yet realize you have. It's one of the best places for transgender youth and their family members to start. (Published online with the gracious permission of Just Evelyn) Have questions on what it means to be transgender? Here are answers to the ones we hear the most. What does "transgender" mean? The term "transgender" is broad, and covers many aspects of the gender experience. In general, people who identify as transgender have come to the conclusion that the bodies in which they find themselves are of the wrong gender. They may decide to redefine themselves by changing their gender roles, and perhaps their bodies, to the opposite gender. Some people will make use of injected sex hormones, electrolysis, plastic surgery or sex reassignment surgery to achieve this transition. At the most general level, there are some primary categories of transgenderism that are useful to know: FTM (female to male): Individuals who were born female but see themselves as predominantly male. MTF (male to female): People who were born male but see themsleves as predominantly female. Intersexed: Individuals born with some combination of male and female sexual characteristics, which they may accept as their natural form, or either gender. Here is a glossary that will help you with the wide range of terms encompassed by "transgender." Are transgender people gay? The sexual orientation of transgender people covers the entire spectrum. At some level, it can also be largely irrelevant, but if labels are to be applied, all of them can. Some FTM (female-to-male transgender) men are attracted to woman, others to men. In the first instance, they would most likely identify as a heterosexual man, in the latter, as a gay man. What is an intersexed person? Intersexuality is a set of medical conditions that features "congenital anomaly of the reproductive and sexual system." That is, a person with an intersex condition is born with sex chromosomes, external genitalia, or an internal reproductive system that is not considered "standard" for either male or female. Some have surgery in infancy, and their gender is assigned by their parents or doctor. Sometimes the assignment turns out to be "wrong" in that it doesn't match that individual's later self-image of their "true" gender. How prevalent is the phenomenon of transgenderism? More common than you might expect! First, one needs to ask themselves what really does it mean to be transgender. The answer to that varies across societies, across time, and invidual interpretations. Up until the 20th century, many governments prohibited women from the wearing of male clothing -- to do so was felt to assume the privileges accorded only to men. By today's standards, we most likely would describe many of the women who made such clothing choices as transgender, just as we include "drag queens" and "drag kings" in this category today. By this definition, there are millions of individuals around the world who could be classified as "transgender." The number of people who find themselves to have the wrong gender, and those who are intersexed, are certainly fewer. But that's largely irrelevant, the important fact is transgender people exist and are a part of our society. This question often comes up with regards to whether or not a minority group should be accorded "special rights," but the fact of the matter is, every individual regardless of sexual orientation, and regardless of gender identity, deserves the same fundamental rights and freedoms. What is sexual orientation? Sexual orienation refers to the gender which a person finds themselves emotionally and sexually attracted. The common terms for the variety of sexual orientations are gay, lesbian, bisexual and heterosexual. Some individuals may identify themselves as asexual, and others as other. What is sexual identity? Sexual identity is the self-image that someone has, regardless of the genitals with which they were born. That's to say, an individual with male sexual characteristics (a male gender) may feel themselves to be female, some would describe themselves as a "woman in a man's body." This individual would have a female gender identity. What is gender identity? Gender identity refers to how an individual sees themself socially, as a woman, man, neither or both. It has no relation to their physical characteristics, but rather to how they choose to live their lives. This categorization may be fluid, over time or social situations. What is gender expression? Gender expression is the manner in which an individual chooses to express their gender. Regardless of their body characteristics or what they claim as a gender identity, an individual choosing to dress and act in a manner that conforms to society's view of what a woman is would be expressing themselves as the female gender. Do transgender people face discrimination? Sadly, almost all the time. For those undergoing transitions, the very "before-after" affect makes their status far more evident than, for example, a gay man or lesbian who can "pass" as heterosexual. The suicide rate among transgender individuals is higher than for the rest of society, they are also more likely to be the target of physical violence, to lose their jobs, and to be receive discrimination in a variety of forms. Transgender people find themselves the targets of attacks more frequently, partly because it is around the question of gender that the majority of anti-gay bias arises. It's because their gender challenges the "norm" that transgender people encounter such discrimination, to emotional trauma, and even physical abuse such as conversion "therapy" and imprisonment, essentially nothing short of torture. And it has only been recently that the broader queer community has accepted transgender individuals as part of their family, and today most queer organizations will identify themselves as "gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender." How do I deal with a transgender person? You should always refer to a transgender person by their chosen gender. Sometimes you might not be sure which this is, so it's fine to ask. For those in transition, you may sometimes meet them as a male, sometimes as a female. Some individuals prefer to be addressed with reference to the gender by which they are expressed at that time, others may have other preferences. Again, it's fine to ask. What is involved with undertaking sex reassignment surgery? You can find a detailed description of the medical solutions to gender reassignment here. OutProud acknowledges, with grateful thanks, the following organizations for articles which provided the foundation for this FAQ: Aegis, The International Foundation for Gender Education, TGNet Arizona.

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